That time I left my corporate career…
My now 7 year old son, who is our third son, was lovingly dubbed the “gamechanger” before he was even born. Let me back up a bit.
In 2016, I was working in finance at a major corporation. I had no idea my life was about to flip upside down, inside out, and backwards. No idea. I was doing my thing, in my spreadsheets, in my cubicle thinking this was the happiest I could be. I couldn’t picture any other path than continuing on in corporate life and motherhood constantly trying to balance the two. I was on the path I set out to be on once I became an adult. Childhood fantasies long forgotten. Doing the practical, responsible things, as I was taught to.
In December of that year, one event started a long chain of events that tore my world apart only to be built back better than I could ever imagine.
I was in NYC for a work meeting (and I rarely traveled). I was newly in my second trimester, but still getting ill every few hours. Having to excuse myself from this room of Manhattan-corporate-folk was exhausting emotionally and physically. But, I made the best of my day. I saw the tree in Rockefeller Center and hopped on the train back to the suburbs of Connecticut. I got home just in time to help finish getting our almost-four-year-old and 18-month-old boys to bed, when my oldest slipped on a book and fell face first into his metal bedframe splitting his lip down the middle. We went to the ER to get him fixed up. We are lucky enough to have a children’s hospital 20 minutes away. But still, the whole ordeal didn’t get us home in bed until nearly 3am. It was one of the longest days of my life.
It was the day I decided to quit my job and never look back.
There was no balance. While my pregnancy was not technically “complicated”, I was not well. I couldn’t take care of myself, my children, and continue on this career path any longer. Something had to give.
I quit before my son was even born. I needed a few months to breathe before adding another newborn to our situation. We had to make sacrifices financially. It was never on our radar that we’d be living on one income. Ultimately, we figured it out.
The next main event started when my third son was born, but we didn’t figure it out until he was 9-months-old. I was suffering from post partum depression in conjunction with the anxiety I already had. I hit rock bottom one day. I didn’t know what was “wrong” with me. I couldn’t get myself off the floor. I couldn’t take care of the our three boys (who were now all home full-time because we couldn’t afford daycare). I called my husband and asked him to come home from work at 8:45 in the morning. That was how long I lasted that day.
Again, I was lucky in that I knew of a therapist who specialized in perinatal therapy for women. Over months, and years really, she was able to help me heal (she still does!). I started doing things for myself. Started exploring ways to be home while having entrepreneurial pursuits. In 2019, I started an online community for female founders and small business owners before it was cool to be on zoom for everything. It was amazing. I was making a little income which was nice and I was CONNECTING with people again. It allowed me to get outside my bubble of motherhood and find myself again.
And then…. The pandemic hit? Yea, remember that? 2020. Good times. Now, I could’ve continued the online community, because, what a perfect environment for that. But, I had three kids home full time trying to do school online and just generally trying to navigate that insanely unknown period of time. No thanks. My answer was to turn off the online community and go into survival mode at home.
I still needed an outlet. Something just for me. Something I could do at home. Something that was fulfilling. Oh, yes, how could I forget? I’ve always been an artist. And now, I have time and space to create.
So, I started creating.
Having already explored the online small business realm, I had some experience in selling work online. After a few weeks, I looked at my work and realized I could absolutely sell it. It was gorgeous. It had a story behind it linked to my own wellbeing. And that’s when my art business began. Slowly, of course. So so slowly.
I used watercolor to meditate with. I would breathe and watch colors swirl. I would put my headphones on and let paint play out on canvas to the beat of whatever Taylor Swift album I was in the mood for that day. It felt good. I felt at peace, light, and happy while I was painting.
When I sold my first painting, I felt exhilarated. I was in awe that I could create something and have it be met with not just appreciation, but adoration. I was hooked. I found something that I could build upon to create income again AND that lit me up from within? Amazing. How lucky.
Of course, I didn’t actually make a profit for the first several years. That came later. But, this winding path of what seemed to be bottomless pits that kept opening up to further depths, was actually the rollercoaster that ultimately launched my art career.
Today, as a full-time artist, I still feel lit up from within when I create. I found my artistic style, built a creative practice that I crave like a runner craves a run, set up sustainable business systems, and connected with a community of emerging artists and small business mentors.
My art is my therapy, my joy, and my way of sharing moments of ease and beauty in a world that so often feels heavy. Every time someone falls in love with one of my pieces, I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have found this path—not the one I planned, but the one I was meant for.
